Today started pretty typical. Until graceful me landed herself in the ER this morning with signs of a concussion. I'll spare you the details of how I managed to fall and konk my head - but tonight I am lounging at home with a terrible headache, completely drowsy, and incapable of accomplishing anything but one lifetime movie after the next.
But hey-sometimes that's life.
& sometimes you can't rid the nausea in your stomach or shake the overwhelming feeling that you are on a boat even hours after you are discharged from the hospital in a dramatic exit in which you throw up on the way out. You just have to roll with the punches. &
hope pray that when you laugh others laugh with you. Even when your feet fall out from under you in the most utterly untimely matter possible all thanks to slick shoes and linoleum flooring. Just smile really big and remember-they've probably been there too.
Today I was thinking-somewhere in between flashing lights and a cat-scan that proved me perfectly healthy....who am I in comparrassion to the other 7,034,973,881 human beings on this planet? I am one heart in an army of souls. There is nothing particular profound about that thought except to think that I have no accurate measure to perceive how anyone or anything around me is feeling except for....me myself. Which in retrospect feels pretty powerful because not one of those seven billion people knows exactly how I feel either. Which creates a world that spins round. & despite this world's inevitable flaws it is pretty incredible to think that we can function in a world full of seven billion people with their own personal agenda.
& to think that I'm the only one who fell down today and konked their head in a rather unflattering way in this whole wide world is almost as inaccurate as saying that spending the day in the ER is a delight. Because it's not. & I sure as heck wasn't the only one.
When I think back to real tried and true tragedies I'd say embarrassment isn't such a bad feeling after all. On my way back from my cat-scan I heard the women behind the curtain in the room next to me sobbing. By what was being said it looked like she was in the middle of a miscarriage. Or maybe-it was something else. I will never get the privilege of knowing except to know that at that moment while her world was astray I was chatting with my mom happily to distract myself from a killer headache and blurry vision.
Maybe just maybe in comparison to every other being on this planet. I'll survive.
& when I think back to earlier this weekend when my sensitive heart got all shaken because I heard that a person I thought to be a supporter of my blog and organization was talking down about me and degrading my efforts for young women empowerment I think of how silly those feelings are in comparison to EVERYTHING. That being said-they are justifiable because they are MY feelings. & you better believe that if that is all I can ever really truly be responsible for then I am going to reserve my right to be just as sensitive as my heart allows.
So yes - I will go through this life feeling different day by day emotions. As you will.
& maybe one day we'll meet in the middle. Or maybe we won't. But we'll both fall down. We'll both get up. & we'll both be okay. If there was never a we until this moment....consider you and me connected.
Connected on our ability to love, laugh, fall, cry, jump, run, dare, and hope.
Everyday brings inevitable challenges. & even if you don't have any idea who I am....please know I have faith in your ability to be more graceful than me. Please know I believe that you will thrive. & know that all challenges aside you and I have the ability to soar.
Have a lovely day. Don't slip on your way out. If you do - I've got extra Motrin.